I decided to read a few blog posts of friends today before starting mine. They were all deeply personal and recorded memories that are important to their authors. I'm pretty new to this blogging world, but I have heard that many blogs are this way. In fact, another one of my friends said that he didn't want to start a blog because he didn't want to have people reading personal things about him. I wondered why, in his mind, a blog had to be about intimate stuff. Well, of course it doesn't, and I haven't had much intention of getting personal in mine--at least not directly, but I'm beginning to see some of the appeal.
I imagine that more intimate posts can be pretty cathartic, and I also see the value of recording memories. The memories I read about today in the blogs of my friends had a certain beautiful, yet haunting quality, like a lot of my good memories do. Okay, I realize that you don't have the same context for this conversation that I do, because you probably didn't just read the same blogs that I did. I'm talking about the kind of memories that are triggered by something in the present, but plunge you into your past in an almost dream-like way. You could probably stop yourself from being swept away, but there is something sweet and kind of mystic in the indulgence. Honestly, there is something transcendent about these types of memories, for me. I can't just get myself in the mood for them, they sort of have to strike me, when I'm not expecting it. I would give you an example, but I'm not being struck today. I only just read about it happening to other people.
Anyway, when they do strike, I get the sense that my life stretches far beyond the usually perceived confines. There really is something of the eternal and infinite in these echos, or shadows of the past. (ugh, "shadows of the past?") I hate these cliche words I am using, by the way, but I can't seem to muster enough creativity today to come up with something more original.
Okay, now I feel a bit awkward about this post. I haven't actually shared any personal information, but I flirted with doing so to the point that I feel like I have. People who know me might find it strange that I feel somewhat uncomfortable being personal here, since in conversation I am usually a little too open. I think the reason is that I can't get my father's voice out of my head, warning me about putting any personal information on the Internet. He won't even purchase anything online because he seems to think that someone is just waiting to steal his identity. The fact that I am mentioning him at all online would probably make him sweat, if he knew about it. Anyway, my undergraduate degree is in acting--I usually quite enjoy vulnerability, but I'm not crazy about it right now. This will probably change.
I'm thinking of time in more geological terms lately: rather than being behind us, I am thinking that the past is what we stand on, and that in some organic ways it's more present and even accessible than we often think.
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